9/25/2023 0 Comments Gold n rod hand dredge![]() (“Iced gems?” “If that’s the best you can do.”) They need mini-bags of Maltesers they need hand-eye coordination, like, yesterday they don’t know whether they’re meant to be in uniform or PE kit, so they’ll wear both, but they do not want to be too hot they need a plausible note from a medical professional detailing why they can’t ice-skate, but they also need ice-appropriate snacks. It’s wellbeing week, so one has a sports day and the other is going ice-skating. This, it turns out, is completely wrong if anything, the demands get worse. They don’t know whether they’re meant to be in uniform or PE kit, so they’ll wear both And they’ll be able to buy their own crisps. No, it needs to be green the other class is in blue.Īnd with all the infinite sadness of time’s passing, as your tiny cute moppets morph into giant six-footers dedicated tirelessly to the delineation of your personal failings, there’ll be one upside, you think: no more bonnets. You get it on their head and it’s exactly right. You dredge every corner of your psyche and figure that there is a pair of blue pants you own that will look like a bonnet if you safety-pin the leg holes shut. Wait, why the crisps? Why 25 packets? Because it’s a Victorian disco, obviously, and everyone in the class needs crisps. ![]() It starts when they’re tiny, no older than five: just as you’re leaving the house, they’ll announce it’s Victorian day and they need a bonnet and 25 packets of crisps. ![]() Now, the week is marked by outlandish demands. But times have changed since we were young. It’s the last week of term, when kids should be watching a documentary about pyramids on a loop, every lesson, and teachers should be congratulating themselves all day long on another year survived.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |